Here we go here we go here we go

So I boxed for about 45 min alternating between heavy bag and speed bag .I kept pushing until major fatigue, almost to the point of passing out and then switch up to a slower pace until the point where I am almost forced to sit down . Keeping my heart rate almost maxed out for 45 min. Also 2 sets of 40 pushups a set. 10 pullups.... I may have caused a small fracture in the small bones in my left hand...oh well nothing new here. It does suprise me I can generate enough force and power to actually cause myself injury inside my hand.


Something dawned on me...physically I've endured all sorts of pain, grueling punishment, everything from rockclimbing to distance running to backcountry snowboarding, mountain biking ,competetive swimming, wrestling, and full contact mixed martial arts. Not your typical weekend warior status either. Ive pushed my physical limits....

how often have I trained the mental side? We've all had on days, days where we feel strong or focused or relaxed or a combination. Vice versa, bad days where we may feel clutsy uncoordinated etc...I realized something, and its certainly not new. As much as Ive conditioned my body despite the strength Ive built doing this , how much could i have acheived by pure focus and determination and being able to channel my energy into being calm and relaxed and focused. It seems I push and push and push to the point it does no good. I understand the importance of muscle memory especially in the sports listed above. Am I just working to the point of exhaustion and teaching my self failure? Would slower more focused less physically intense workouts be more benificial?

Sure working out to the point of sheer exhaustion is a huge release and its most definitely kept me out of trouble .I am excercise dependant and an endorphine addict.

Speaking strictly asctetically I could be a better athlete if I did less? Surly my form and technique would improve but would my strength? No logically that would diminish hence strength training specifically. I feel so unfocused.

Sometimes when Im active or training I feel I'm on the cusp of some sort of breakthrough, not your day to day pushing personal limits or boundaries,something more, dont get me wrong I am certainly not some great athlete,far far from it.

In fact im just an ordinary guy and I even look the part.

Its just a feeling, something Im unable to do justice with words. Flow? Maybe Im just in post-workout high?

I should take up regular meditation again.