Lets see here, I did 10 six hour graveyard shifts straight during which I didnt do much of anything other than hit the heavy bag for short intervals like 3 days maybe 20 min a day. I may have rode once during this time period as well but dont remember.
Tuesday the 27th I switched back to day shifts and began riding everyday after work. I rode hogan trail on tuesday which was dry, rocky and technical. A good ride, kind of odd, the trail just ends. Mainly Ive been riding the Granite bay trails, something like 10 miles of singletrack dependant on how one strings them together. A couple nice hits, kickers and a table top and a hip to jump off in a few little play areas where the trail stops and starts at different trailheads and parking lots along the way. Barely a 20 minute drive from the house. Nice and cool, shadey etc.
I've been riding single track everyday for 5 days straight? I don't even know at this point. My mind is just wasted,I work,I get off I ride it rocks. Eat, shit, rinse ,repeat, sleep. Not in that order. So where to begin...I've made effort recently to possibly see the ex-wife again, On a more than conjugal purely physical level. Sure we've each had our booty calls with eachother, I was lead to believe we once again could have more than that. Unfortunately I don't believe this will ever work. Again I'm being treated poorly or being almost completely ignored. I've always poured my heart and soul into most everything I do. The affection is'nt being returned in the same or even nearly the same manner. It's like dealing with a hollow gourd filled with dried seeds. I can hear them inside but they only serve to make noise other than that, totally ineffectual, just a bunch of noise.
So how do I deal with all this? I'm heavily excercise dependant. I kind of naturally let my body do the kind of workout it craves. Be it snowboard,climb, kickbox,Mountain bike, run. It's funny really, I just rotate through different activities til I get burnt out on just one thing. Right now it's most definetly riding time.
I usually switch up to running in the summer,climbing in the summer and fall ,snowboard and kickbox in the winter. Spring time always varies but the cooler temps lend themselves to riding. Ya I know Bla blah blah.
I actually rode with a friend today...Wow instead of isolating and withdrawing from everybody and letting myself get totally absorbd in my workout I rode with my old friend Philly. We did'nt even wear the mp3's just kinda talked and cracked jokes the whole way.
Healthy? unhealthy? At this point I could rationalize everything by saying hey I did'nt get High or drink. I'm attempting to deal with problems in a healthier manner instead of just substituting addictions and approaching problems with the same line of thinking as before. It's constant work. I'm always having to fight to stay conscious of my choices and my approach to even the smallest challenges in life. Life will continue to be hard work.
I'll just have to not fight it as much. Attempt to flow.
No comments:
Post a Comment